Hidden Talents

I am great at mucking stalls. I'm not trying to brag. It's just a fact. I am very particular and work very hard at finding all of the hidden spots (pee). I am sure that you are thinking that perhaps I have been breathing the fumes of all of that poop I've been scooping. Who cares if you can scoop manure into buckets and haul it off. The horses don't really appreciate it. I smell really bad afterwards. I haven't discovered anything great or achieved world peace or even bi-partisan cooperation (not sure which one is harder to achieve). So why should anyone want or need to know of this great talent of mine?

I'm 45 yrs old. I am totally in shock. It's not like I fell asleep at 30 or even 35 and just woke up at 45 yrs. old. No, I've been present every step of the way. I didn't really think too much about my age until gray hairs started to sprout AND my kids started college. The numbers didn't mean so much until they were paired with this transition of being a mom to teens to being the mom of young adults. If I live to 90, my life is half over. My parents were 75 (mom) and 80 (dad) when they died. Since I feel more like my mom, that means I've only got 30 yrs left!!

OH MY GOODNESS!!! What have I done with my life? Let's see, I've got a degree in elementary education. I used that to substitute teach for 1 1/2 yrs. until horsedoc broke his leg while I was 5 months pregnant. Then I was full time mom ( 3 kids in 3 1/2 yrs). Then I started working in the clinic once we moved to TN. I can't sing or draw or paint. I don't have any sport I'm particularly good at. I can cook, but only good enough for family or close friends. As this inventory forms in my mind, I start to feel sorry for myself. Ok, I am a grown up.....an old grown up, knock that off. You have much to be grateful for. When I start to feel particularly lost, I look to our sainted (almost) Mother Teresa. What would she say to all of this. Mother Teresa took every thing from God as something beautiful. She saw Jesus in the eyes of the sick and dying, in the poorest of the poor. She would often speak of the importance of doing small things and doing them with great love. She helped us to see that we could all contribute even in the smallest way if only we do it with great love.

So, I've decided to try to notice the small things and to do them with great love. So here it is, manure, I'm good at mucking stalls. I save the poop into a poop only pile so that it can become fertilizer. I love the smell of fresh pine or cedar shavings. I like the instant gratification of a clean stall. This particular talent isn't grand or glamourous. Perhaps if I can find joy in this I can find it in other not so obvious places. I'm gonna keep trying.